You may have seen Deepak Khuller familiar face volunteering at Lismore Regional Art Gallery. Deepak moved here after living and working internationally in Paris, Tokyo, Bangkok and Shanghai and now contributes to our diverse community. Deepak was interviewed by Denise Alison of the Humans of Lismore.

Deepak Khuller - “ I was born in New Delhi. Delhi was a more liveable place than out is now. It’s an ancient city which has been populated for many centuries and has been capital of many civilisations so there’s a lot of great history and architecture to Delhi.

The population has exploded since I was a little kid. We were lucky that we had gardens, alleyways filled with trees and compounds full of grass. There was always outdoor games with lots of kids so it was a great childhood with lots of love and affection. I think that still sustains me now. 

We moved when I was about 15 to another part of Delhi. I have 3 older sisters. We had a pretty liberal upbringing. My family isn’t really religious but they follow the festivals as they come along. There would be pomp and show, colours and the incredible food that goes with different festivities. They were all beautiful. Every month we were celebrating something. I fully enjoyed it all.

I was pretty good academically at school and sport. When I finished school I did an undergraduate degree at Delhi University in Computer Science. It was quite an achievement because mine was the first batch who graduated from Delhi Uni in Computer Science. I had Physics, Maths and Computer Science as my subjects. I wanted to do more so I decided to go overseas for studies.

In 1989 I landed in Australia. A friend had arrived here and I thought why not? Australia is the lucky country. I was studying in Perth and I realised the course wasn’t at my level. I had gone beyond that course. Money was short as an overseas student so I studied full time, worked very hard and saved $7,000 in about 6 months. I lived very poorly and worked cleaning escalators and scrubbing 80 toilets at night.

I couldn’t tell my family at home because this wasn’t something you did coming from where I came from. I also knew I wouldn’t get any money from anywhere else. When I arrived in Australia I had $800 in my pocket and my first semester at school paid off. That sum of money was big then. My sister who lived in the US paid my semester fee. 

I enrolled in a new University in Melbourne called VUT and got into their Graduate Diploma in Computer Science with the money I saved. I topped the University in the Grad Dip so the faculty gave me a scholarship for Masters and I topped the University in Masters. They then asked me to stay as a PhD student and made me a senior tutor so I had my own room at the VUT faculty. It was quite daunting to get up and teach students, some the same age as me. 

I was starting to feel like a professional student and I wanted to explore a bit more. The opportunity came from Monash University at that point. They used to have a computer centre and they were looking for someone to write a computer centre handbook.

This was 1994. I wrote the handbook which was very well regarded in the academic circles. From there I started managing their mainframe computers. The book had a life of its own and got a look in by a company in the USA. They approached me and asked me to come and work for them which started my career in the corporate world. I stayed with them for 5 years and got to travel, Auckland for 18 months, Brisbane for a year and Bangkok for 6 months. 

I started work with a telecommunications giant called Alcatel and stayed for 13 years. I had the best career with them. I was the HR Director in Japan for a year, I managed Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Myanmar over a few years. In 2009 I became a global Director which was awesome and I moved to Paris where I stayed until 2013. I was very lucky and very happy. I got to live in some amazing places and travel the world. It was fantastic. 

There was a time when a camera saved my life in PNG. It was a Saturday morning. I had a team and we were in a curfew environment. It was curfew till 6am so the other hours we could be out and about. I was taking some people to the National Gallery there. We parked in the carpark which was empty and I started walking toward the gallery doors.

I saw this guy hacking at the bushes with a machete so I thought he was a gardener working. My 2 other colleagues were behind me. My colleagues yelled, Deepak watch out! I turned around and this guy was bearing down with the machete about to attack me.

I made a dash but was on gravel and slipped. I had a camera in my hand and I threw at him. He ran off with my very good Canon camera but it saved my life. 

I had been in a relationship from 2000 to 2011 but it fell apart due to all the travel. When I came back here in 2013 I thought I would pack up and move back to Paris, then I ran into Luke.

I was living in Surrey Hills and we met at the local gym and went for a cup of Chai. We started seeing each other a bit but nothing serious. I had a house in Alexandria and my tenants were moving out. Luke was in his place in Surrey Hills and I asked him in 2015 if he would like to move in with me.

Relationships are complex things but we were both at a stage where we could bring our unique selves to the relationship. You have to be together for a little while before you know whether it works for you or not. 

I’m 53 now so 7 years ago we met. Luke was already over big cities. I always thought I was an urban dweller. All the major cities I’ve lived in, I lived in the heart of it all. In 2014 I had my first ever trip to Lismore.

That was my first Tropical Fruits. We came and stayed at Max’s house who was a friend of Luke’s and we loved it. We loved the party, loved the town. It had a great vibe, was multicultural and diverse. It had a great cafe culture, it was accepting and it was wonderful to see that regional Australia was celebrating 30 years of Tropical Fruits. Not even main cities celebrate something like that so it was all very positive. The house was amazing and I fell in love with it.

Life went on and then Dec 2017 we decided to return to Lismore for New Year. We came back to Max’s place and at that point I said to Max if you’re looking to sell I’m keen to buy. Long story short, in February he called and by May it was ours. I left my job in Sydney, Luke sold his apartment, I sold my house and November 2018 we moved to Lismore. We could not be happier.

The things we thought would work for us are working way better than we expected. There’s a great art world here which was a big attraction for both of us. We both love art and Luke is an amazing artist. I really admire his work. My ex was a wonderful painter as well and I have collected art for 30 years.

Luke and I both came from very different sides but we think alike. Lismore has taken me back to my childhood where I had a garden, close to nature and I adore that. We have a beautiful garden we’ve planted and we have done big renovations to our home.

I was the only son in a patriarchal culture. My parents are devastated that I moved away to live my own life. Mum is very stubborn and has continued to make life more difficult for herself and Dad. It puts me in a very awkward situation because she always throws the guilt back to me. She cannot stay happy even though there is nothing in life that is unhappy.

I feel very strongly about wanting to take care of them. I go twice a year and try as much as possible to see them. It’s always the same from my mother…If only you were here, everything would be ok. It’s very tiring and puts a lot of strain on me. It clouds my joy in life at times. 

My coming out story was pretty horrendous as well. My parents belong to a very different generation so when I came out to them it was a very rocky road all the way through which has never abated.

My sister who is a Trump supporter dobbed me into my parents basically. I had come out to her thinking, she is in America, has been there for a long time so will be supportive. No! She was the other way around. I had to rush to India to talk to my parents. There was 21 days of hell. I had to hide my passport because my dad was going to confiscate it and not allow me to leave. 

My sister tried to thwart my relationship here by sending very wrong things to the Immigration Department after she found out I put my application in based on my de-facto relationship with my then partner Ross. The department called me saying that my relationship was not genuine because they had received her letter. We could prove it and did. She never apologised.

I let it go for 25 years and then last year all hell broke loose. She’s the apple of Mum’s eye so I get more trouble from her. It’s never-ending and I just want it to finish. I try to understand and be generous but it’s hard. I still go twice a year and have been doing it for decades. There’s a lot of complexity there. My 2 sisters in Delhi are wonderful.

When I came home from my last trip last year which was a difficult time, I was worn out from the stress. Luke picked me up from Ballina airport. That afternoon the doorbell went and I was thinking..no, I really don’t feel like visitors. The door opened and there was this woman holding the tiniest little pup (Ramu) and I burst into tears. Luke had bought Ramu for me so it was a wonderful moment. (Ramu just featured on Dogs of Lismore.) 

I feel very grateful I have so many wonderful things in my life…travel, career, friends, partner and family despite whatever goes on. I still have my 2 sisters who are wonderful. Here we are! We love the community here and who knew that the house would come with so many wonderful things attached.”