We are now into the Easter break and the first set of school holidays for 2020 - in most unusual circumstances.

At The Lismore App we thought it wise to discover how the family unit (or bubble as it is now known) will be affected and get some tips on how to cope - just in case you may need some advice.

Difficult questions need an expert response, so we contacted Basia Radlinska, a Clinical Psychologist with the Southern Cross University.

For the last two weeks, Basia has been working with young people on-line through the coronavirus pandemic.

Coronavirus self isolation

What she is seeing since children are now mostly home schooled, is different forms of anxiety. Children that suffer from social anxiety actually feel better in this environment and are enjoying being at home. While children that have depressive symptoms are struggling more, because they have lost their main support network - their friends.

"The result of self isolation is a loss of motivation to do anything, let alone any schoolwork - and a loss of connection with their friends, Basia said, "Developmentally, young adults connection with their friends is the main part of their identity".

Parents of adolescent children may find this relatable, as their kids spend more time talking to their friends and less with the family - which is normal behaviour.

"That is what evolution wants us to do at that age," Basia said. "Connect with our peers, rather than our family to prepare them to leave the nest. This can be really challenging to some parents."

So, now their identity is really confused - as it had been wrapped up in their friendships, and now they are isolated at home.

No more structure

Basia talked about how there is no structure in their lives anymore - like going to class at a certain time, where the teacher tells you to do certain work. Young or adolescent children are not particularly self driven. This is because the frontal lobe of the brain is developing until they are 25. This is about self motivation, planning and structure - which is why a set external school structure works for children.

"When kids are at home, they struggle to set that structure for themselves" Basia said.

So, what can parents do to help their children at this time?

"These school holidays will bring less of a difference between what is happening now and what traditionally is the case", explained Basia, "usually children go from being at school physically for seven hours a day then travelling for holidays, there is less distinction now because they have been home for the last three weeks".

"The daily school work will stop coming in, and normally kids will be spending a lot of time outside with their friends doing some sort of activity. This leads to the child saying "I'm Bored!".

Basia's advice for parents is:

"Try to maintain a routine where you are getting up at the same time, having regular healthy meals, trying to get exercise in your day and trying to get social connection in your day," Basia said.

"Those are the absolute pillars of wellbeing - diet, sleep, exercise and social connection - whether there is a pandemic or not.

"Also, time out is important. One of the difficulties with everybody being home is that people lose their personal space and their private time.

"Parents can think that this is a good time for family bonding, but everyone is used to having eight hours away from each other, so it is important that you allow time-out for everybody in the family. That's place that someone can go for as long as they want with out being questioned or judged.

"It will be a real challenge finding activities for them during the holidays. There is already a tendency towards screen time which is a big battle for a lot of parents already and this pandemic is exacerbating those screen time issues."

Your children's screen time

Basia's advice is to be more gentle with your children about the screen time issue.

Be more relaxed about the amount of time spent playing games, or chatting to friends - because it is their only source of social connection right now.

"Those battles around screen time are only going to escalate", Basia said, "the emphasis right now should be on maintaining harmony in the home, rather than having battles about screen time," Basia explained.

"I know some parents are worried about what kids are accessing on their phones, i-pads and computers.

"Open up those conversations so you can understand what apps and websites they are using and getting them to explain what it is and how it works.

"This can appear to quite complex to parents, but my advice is to sit down and talk to your children and ask them to show you their apps. I am sure they would enjoy showing you their music apps or game apps like how to make a Tik Tok video."

Increased stress levels

Peoples stress levels and anxieties will increase in the coming days and weeks which could lead to parents tempers being a bit shorter.

At this time Basia says we should be showing more compassion toward one another and to realise that these are particular circumstances that will pass. We could also practice more forgiveness than we normally would and make relationship harmony the priority.

"We are allowed an hour of exercise a day so encourage your kids to get out of the house for that hour, she explained, "be clear what the rules are: they can exercise for one hour with one other person, as long as they maintain social distancing. Parents should facilitate that for their kids if the child's best friend lives close by".

"This can be a big relief for people who are cooped up. It's the same for adults - make the most out of what we are allowed to do".

Stressed? What to do.

If you find yourself in a stressed moment, what do you do?

"The same self care advice applies to adults. Maintain as much structure and compassion as possible in your days", Basia explains.

"In times of stress some people 'over structure' because they cannot control what is happening in the world but I can control what happens in the day. The problem with over-structure is that you are setting yourself up to fail, there is no wiggle room for the normal parts of life".

"Then there is 'under structuring' where nothing is planned or scheduled so nothing gets done. It is about finding a happy balance".

"Setting out a schedule is great as long as there is some downtime in the day as well".

"What can work is making some really specific lists that feel achievable so it allows you to tick some things off to feel like you have accomplished something. The list has to be specific and not big - like clean the house - as this is nondescript, you could endlessly clean the house. Be specific on your lists like clean out the cutlery drawer".

Set some SMART goals

Set yourself some SMART goals.

These are specific, manageable, attainable, realistic and time bound.

"In these uncertain times we are looking for normalisation in our daily lives", Basia said, "there is no right or wrong way to get through this pandemic but I think when people prioritise the things they value the most in their lives they tend to cope better".

"We need to ask our selves what do we value more? Do I value more that our child is following a very specific schedule or do I value our relationship and that my child is not feeling super anxious".

Good luck with your family bubble over the coming two weeks and more. I hope Basia has given you some good tips on how to not only survive but thrive during these homebound school holidays.